Is it time for a little help at home? Gentle signs to look out for

Most people would rather stay in their own home for as long as they can, and with a little help, many can. The tricky part is knowing when that help would make a difference, especially if you live a drive away and only see your mum, dad or relative now and then.

Nobody likes to feel they are being watched or judged, so it is worth knowing what to look for, and how to bring it up gently.

Little changes around the house

Homes tend to tell the story before people do. Things to notice on your next visit:

• Dust building up on surfaces that used to be spotless.
• The bathroom or kitchen not as fresh as usual.
• Washing piling up, or beds that have not been changed for a while.
• Rooms that are no longer used because they are hard to keep on top of.

None of these means something is wrong. Often it is simply that bending, stretching and carrying have become harder work.

What is in the fridge?

A quick look in the fridge and the cupboards can be telling. Out of date food, very little fresh food, or the same few things bought over and over can be a sign that getting to the shops, or carrying the bags home, has become a struggle.

Quieter weeks

Loneliness is easy to miss. If someone mentions they have not spoken to anyone for a few days, has stopped going to a club they enjoyed, or seems flatter than usual on the phone, company might help as much as anything practical.

How to raise it kindly

The way you bring it up matters as much as what you say. A few things that tend to help:

• Start with what they want. Most people want to stay at home and stay in charge. Help at home is a way of doing exactly that.
• Keep it small. An hour a week with the cleaning or the shopping feels very different from "getting a carer in".
• Let them choose. What would make the biggest difference to them? Start there.
• Try it and see. Suggest giving it a go for a few weeks, rather than making a big decision.

Where to start

If any of this sounds familiar, a friendly conversation is the best first step. You can see the kinds of everyday help we offer on our services page, and you are very welcome to get in touch on behalf of someone else.